Snared

While working on my latest work-in-progress, I suddenly realized that I was like Dante. I had found myself lost in the woods. Sure, the plot elements were all there. Events swirled all around my characters. Scary stuff happened. But I was feeling so overwhelmed by the trees and the elements of plot– characterization, goals, description, motivation—that I couldn’t see the far view to see myself out of the woods. I had lost my way and because of that my character had lost my way.

Being without a publishing house and writing Christian Black speculative fiction, I was worried about my novel’s future home. And without knowing it, I had been snared by compromise. But even worse, although my last book, Wind Follower, had received great critical praise, my brain was always mulling over the three bad reviews I had received. These reviews spoke to the essence of my writing in many ways. My stories then to be leisurely, building up slowly toward their climax. I suspect that I’m affected by watching too many indie character films. Perhaps I should watch more blockbusters and read more best-sellers to learn the tricks of manipulative pacing. But I’m a lover of biography, memoirs, spiritual essays and I rather like examining the small issues of a character’s life while that character is caught up in world-changing events. I sup pose it’s a blessing which –like all blessings—have their flip side: a curse. Most people who read my stories say the characters feel quite real, like personages in history. For good or ill, reality hovers over my fantasies.

But before quite realizing it, I had been snared into four compromises. Because I realized the compromises I had become ensnared in, I saw that I had lost the main theme of my novel which, incidentally is a theme shared by Christianity and many fantasy novels: “There is something wrong at the core of this world that needs fixing.” Luckily, I caught it and have managed to be free again in my own heart. The character has once again found his heart: he disliked the things of his world. He found his primary goal again: to fix things. Even if he messed up somewhat in the attempt.

The first was the compromise of total personal freedom. I had wanted to write about faith, racial issues, the tiny intimate things of life. But – again without knowing it—I had restrained myself. I did not want to be too different from other books in my genre. And so I had limited my freedom to write everything I wanted to write about spirituality, Christianity, racism, imperialism, and the small important emotions of20life. So the first compromise was being snared into imitating the (genre) world in which I had found myself.

The second compromise was not to be an extremist. I was unconsciously aware of a line I should not cross. This unconscious worry made me avoid anything that might seem too extreme to those in my genre.

The third compromise was to limit the trouble to one character and to that world. I had wanted the alternate world to mirror some of Earth’s problems. Not that I wanted the story to be blatantly symbolic of earth. Wind Follower showed much of earth’s issues without being merely a mirror of Earth history. But before I realized it, I had pulled away from that aim and was limiting the resonances between this world I live in and the one I had made. Heck, what use is an alternate story that doesn’t resonate with this world?

The fourth compromise was to not challenge – either myself or the reader. When I wrote Wind Follower some readers berated me for creating languages for the book. They said they had a hard time understanding it. They also had a problem with the tribal cultures. Not many readers had this problem but enough. And as I wrote all I kept thinking was: “Now, Carole, I know you love creative play but don’t stop make this novel too complicated.” I had to remind myself that most readers didn’t think my first book that complicated at all. And I had to r emind myself that the structure of the present book was written as a game and that as a puzzle-lover, I wanted to see if I could pull it off. Heck, if I fail, I fail but why change the premise of the story for people who didn’t want to think too hard? If you lay a challenge before me, I’ll take it up. Why should I write to folks who don’t want to pick up a challenge or a tribal culture lain before them?

So, now, I’ve found myself and my story again. Am working on the final revisions of my novel, I am happy again that I’ve found my way. I’m trusting it will be published. But published or not, it will be the novel I set out to write not some screened version.

Wind Follower, by Carole McDonnell